I have chosen to stay anonymous to safeguard my identity from the embarrassment. Yesterday evening, I became hungry and chose to make some ramen. I extracted the various packets from the bowl, added the seasoning and dried vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a sixty seconds or two, I realized something was wrong. A terrible burning smell had saturated my kitchen. I swung open the door to my microwave and…behold…I had failed to put in water. There was some smoke rising from the bowl. Not wanting to throw away the ramen, I went to the sink and poured in water, which engulfed the room with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then put the bowl once more in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I encountered a mass of blackened noodles which had turned into some sort of peculiar crystalline substance unknown to humanity. I had a change of heart.