I have opted to keep my identity hidden to safeguard my identity from the foolishness. Yesterday evening, I got hungry and chose to make some ramen. I removed the various packets from the bowl, put in the spice mix and dried vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a short while or two, I understood something was wrong. A horrible burning smell had permeated my kitchen. I swung open the door to my microwave and…low and behold…I had forgotten to include water. There was some smoke emanating from the bowl. Not wanting to throw away the ramen, I went to the sink and put in water, which engulfed the room with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then put the bowl again in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I encountered a clump of blackened noodles which had transformed into some sort of peculiar crystalline substance yet seen in nature by humankind. I had a change of mind.